Most women are so into being attracted to a man during their first meeting, the last thing on their mind is if the man may be dysfunctional. Yes, physical attraction and being swept away looks good in the movies, but remember that’s only make believe. Dating or, perish the thought, ending up in a relationship or marrying a dysfunctional man, can end up ruining your life. Let’s take a look at some secret ways to tell if he may be dysfunctional. If you ignore them, don’t come crying to me. Remember, I tried to warn you!
The No Work Excuses; AKA He’s Lazy-
This man has excuse after excuse for why he isn’t working. He really does know how to make the excuses seem reasonable. However, when there are too many excuses to count, that’s when he has a serious problem. There is a difference between a man who is out of work because he was laid off when the company folded, or because he made a move cross country to find a better job in his career field, than someone who is perpetually out of work. His excuses are usually made up of; the boss didn’t like me, my co-workers were out to get me, I haven’t found something I like yet, I can’t find anything in my career field, or the devil made me do it. The point is, he’s probably never going to work for any length of time and will flutter from job to job the rest of his life. Trust me he will have many mini-vacations from work in-between as well. So, how does this affect you? Get involved with this man and You will be taking care of him for the rest of your life. Before dating, Ask a man about what he does and his work history? You may want to ask him how he likes his work, or his boss? Ask him where he went on his last vacation, he has to be at a company for at least a year to get vacation time. All men like it when you ask them about themselves, so he won’t catch on.
Constant Complaining About Ex-Girlfriends-
The trap on this one is most women actually like hearing that a man’s ex was a witch. The reason being is that this woman, yes, we tend to be a little arrogant, truly believes that she’s the one that could finally make this man happy. Good luck! Don’t you get it? If every woman before you was a failure at making Mr. Wonderful happy, what makes you think you can? This type of man that puts down and complains about every past girlfriend will never be happy. It’s always someone elses’ fault why the relationship didn’t work. Nothing is ever his fault, and he is just an innocent victim of horrible women. Well, if you want to end up being the next horrible women in this guy’s, life, be my guest, I don’t want him. This is an easy one to spot before you date him. He will be more than willing to spill his guts about all his horrible ex- girlfriends of the past, if you steer him in the right direction. Try telling him a story a bout a male friend’s ex-girlfriend who was a disaster, that might trigger him to say a lot about his ex-girlfriends as well. You don’t have to ask direct questions to get information. Sometimes telling a horror story of your own will be enough to get him going on his own relationship horror stories. How he talks about his ex-girlfriends in these stories will tell you all you need to hear!
Possible Sex Addiction-
This one might be a little harder to figure out, but not impossible. it all depends on what questions you are willing to ask. Usually men are smart enough to not come out and say, “I can’t see you on Friday nights because I go to the strip club with the guys every Friday”. They are pretty aware most women don’t like their men in strip clubs. So, it’s up to you, to hint around in a way that you may be able to obtain some very interesting information. Say your sitting at the bar having a drink when you meet him, chances are if he drinks he’s pretty relaxed, and possibly open to any conversation. You may mention something like you heard Hooters has pretty good wings. He might reply “Yeah, they’re great, I have them a couple of times a week.” Okay, there’s some information right there. No it doesn’t make him a sex addict if he goes to Hooters for wings, but you may not want to date this type of man. Another way might be to mention an interesting horror story about a friend that frequents strip clubs. If his answer is, “They’re really not that bad, I’ve been to a lot of them”, you have your answer don’t you? Oftentimes men who frequent strip clubs do have some type of issue with intimacy. Believe me, that’s not something you want to get involved with. That’s only two examples about how to get the information you may want about his sexual attitudes. I’m sure if you think really hard you can come up with many clever questions or scenarios that won’t seem suspicious. Remember, it’s important to know what his sexual lifestyle might be before getting involved.
His Attitudes Regarding Women-
This one isn’t all that hard to get some information about, if you steer him in the right direction. If you are career oriented and wouldn’t even think about giving up your work, marriage or no marriage than you better find out if he thinks women should only be barefoot and pregnant, and eternally serving her man. Perish the thought! Try and find out some information about his family. If his Mom was a stay at home Mom he may lean more toward this type of arrangement, although not always. If you find out his Mom was a Criminal Attorney and he brags about her, than he may see a career for a woman as very acceptable. As far as how he sees women in general, you may want to point out a woman that may be dressed a little scantily and make a remark about how she is dressed. His response could say a lot. If he says, “Yeah, she looks like a hooker”, I would worry. A better response from him might be “I’m no fashion expert on women’s clothes”. That’s a benign statement that shows no malice or judgment toward any type of woman. Again, these are only some examples. Try and figure out some things you can ask to get the specific information you want without it sounding suspicious. It’s important for every women before dating or getting involved to know what type of an attitude a man has about women in general. This could save you a lot of heartache and trouble down the road.
Is He a Committed Type Person-
Whether it be in a relationship, work, morals, values. or any other area you want to find out if he is a committed type person. The last thing you need is some flighty, wavering, type man that can’t stick to anything, including your relationship. Why even bother with this type of man? Again upon first meeting this man, before you even think about a date, find out if he is solid like a rock, or a feather in the wind. After asking what he does for a living, ask him how long he’s been with his company. Barring that he just started the job, look for some long term commitment that he has made in the company. If he says, 7 years, and he wants to stay with the company indefinitely, that’s a good sign. If you are talking about relationships, and he says he has had only two and they each lasted several years, chances are he at least tries to stick it out in a relationship. If hes says, I don’t remember, or there’s too many to count, it’s time to go to the ladies room and crawl out the window. If you ask him how often he sees his family, and he says a few times a month for dinner, that’s a good sign he’s family and relationship oriented. If he says “What Family?”, than you know what you need to do. Another question that might seem silly is if he has any animals. Remember it takes commitment to take care of an animal on a daily basis. Same goes if he’s paying child support to his children. You don’t want a guy that says, “I’m not giving my money to my ex for child support”. Men committed to their children will pay child support no matter what. Hopefully he says he sees them every weekend, or has custody as well. Commitment is a big factor in a any relationship, so don’t waste your time with a man that’s not capable of it.
There you have it, some very important things to find out about a man before you even date him. Now you may be thinking, what;s the big deal, it’s only a date. If I find out after dating him he’s a loser I’ll just dump him. Yeah right, do you know how many women don’t do that? Women tend to be very emotional creatures, and once they even get a little bit involved with a man it’s very hard for them to stop. It’s the truth whether you want to know it or not. So, my advice is, find out before dating him as much as you can, and only move forward if he seems like a good bet. You may not win the lottery, but then again, you may not lose anything either!