Oh he’s cute! I think I’m going to go over and say hi. Hi my name is Shela and your name is? Luke. Luke turned out to be a great catch and you had to catch him. That simple action sparked a small flame that grew to a blazing life together. Oh in the beginning every thing was so great. He was so perfect. You went out on dates and had so much fun. He always looked so good all dressed up. He had the body of a god. Oh and he smelt good enough to eat! He complimented you and noticed every little thing about you. Flowers, cards and candy. You guys were inseparable. Okay, what happened? You’ve been married now for 15yrs and he hardly looks at you twice and his idea of a fun date is setting at home watching wrestling. Now the body of the goddess you can do with out but could he at least shave and dress up and from time to time. Okay! What happened? Who changed? and what can we do about it?
Oh my God do you see her? She is beautiful. I have gotta get next to her. How? Hum I think I will walk over and ask her name.That simple action started the beginning of a life time together. You just couldn’t get her off your mind. Man, those jeans she wore, fit her just right. She is so pretty. And the sex was off the chain, she put on that sexy dress and boy you lost your mind. Your nose was wide open. You had to see her ever day. What ever she wanted she could have. She made you feel like you were the luckiest man on earth. Okay, what happened? Now you guys hardly make love, she’s always busy with everything else but you. And the way she dresses, well lets say she looks like she going to the gym. Okay! What happened? Who changed? and What can we do about it?
This is how a lot of married couples feel. Its sad but very true. So what happened? Why in the beginning was everything so perfect, and now you two hardly look each others way. The love is still there, but things have change. The most important question is how can we get that spark back
Well in the beginning of a relationship we always put our best foot forward.
- Women, you know how we do when were tiring to catch his eye. We make sure we never leave the house looking any old kind of way. Even if we’re just going to the mall with him we had to put on our best outfit. We had to make sure we put on perfume and smelled good enough to eat. We had to make sure he couldn’t get us off of his mind or his shirt. “Perfume is a great way to stay with him all day even if your not together”. We were interested in finding out everything that we could about this guy. We listen to his every word, because we wanted to get to know him. We laughed at his corny jokes. We did everything we could to impress this man. And in return he did the same for us.
- Men, she was the bomb to you and you had to impress her. You knew there were other men out there that wanted her because she was so beautiful. Plus she was smart too. You had to let her know that she was special. You were on your P’s & Q’s. Card’s, candy, flowers what ever you thought she wanted she had it. You had to spend time with her so that she knew you were serious about her. You couldn’t get her off of your mind. She listened to you and seemed interested in knowing all about you. You had to do what ever you could to impress her and in return she did the same for you.
Who Changed? From Dating to Marriage
- We know that he loves us and we got him so we get relaxed and stop doing all those things that drove him crazy back in the day.
- He understands I stop wearing hills and replaced them with tennis shoes, I can’t run behind kids with hills on right?
- Oh and I gotta run out the door really quick, who got time to pick out a sexy outfit.
- Do my hair? Yeah…. that’s right up there with doing the dishes and washing clothes and cooking dinner.
- Make Love! Whats that? Maybe tomorrow.
- You are too busy to do anything special for him and in return he dose the same for you.
- Men. Oh man, I forgot her birthday, she know I love her. I’ll stop by Walmart and get her a card and a cook book.
- I been working so hard I forgot what today was.
- Dress up!Shave! For what? We ain’t going no were.
- Go out, naw I’m tired lets stay home, Friday nights wrestling coming on. After wrestling we can up stairs and have a match in the bed.
- Your to tired to make her feel special and in return she dose the same for you.
He did, No she did!
- He changed.
- He don’t do the little things he use to do for me.
- I miss us going out on dates.
- He use to buy me candy.
- I can’t remember the last time I got flowers.
- I remember how he use to sing to me and take me up stairs and make love to me.
- He use to wear cologne that smelt so good, now all I get is Irish Spring.
- She changed.
- She use to wear those tight jeans and hills,
- And smelt so good that I would sing to her.
- Man I miss showing her off when we went out, all the guys on campus wanted her.
- She use to listen to my jokes and had time to spend with me.
- Now all I get is I got a headache I’m going to bed.
You both changed
- We sometime get so caught up with doing for our homes that we forget about anything else including our hubbies. We forget that he wants some attention too.He wants to see us looking sexy and smelling good sometimes. We know that he loves us, so we figure he’ll be alright and understand.
- You sometime get so busy with working that you think that as long as you go to work that gives you an excuse not do anything special for your wives. You forget that she use to love to see you dressed up smelling good. She would love to see you looking good just for her. You know she loves you so you figure she’ll be alright she understand.
3.WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT?
You have to understand that change is a part of life. Relationships change.People change. Its not a bad thing to change.As long as you don’t change your love for each other. You have to remember that in the everyday changes of life you are not alone.You have a husband or wife who’s right by your side to go through life changes with. You have made a comment to spend the rest of your life’s with each other and that means all the changes that each other go through. You have to embrace each other for were you are at this point in time.Wives I know that your not 21 anymore and that you have allot to do but that doesn’t mean you cant put on something sexy and make your hubby smile. Take a day off from the kids send them to grandma’s house and instead of nagging your hubbies to take you out for dinner that night make dinner for him. When he walk through the door have a candle light dinner. Put on something sexy and dance for your man. So what if you can drop it like its hot anymore, I’m pretty sure he cant either. Make him remember that hot young thing he feel in love with. She’s still there just with a little more spice. Hubbies, take a day off work, get dressed up, Shave and put on some cologne. Show her that you still got it. There maybe a couple more grays but that just make you look more distinguish. Buy her some flowers and candy. Hire a baby sitter to stay with the kids. Buy your wife a beautiful dress that you would like to see her in. Ask her out on a romantic dinner and dancing date. She will be so blown away. I promise you by the time you get home you’ll get some loven. Make this a habit. Think about one another. I know that sometimes you are busy and don’t feel like you have that time to put on something sexy or take her out on a date, but you have to remember that he or she is an important part of your life forever. Just like you had to work to get each other you have to work to keep each other happy. Beginning Married is growth and changes in life and learning how to embrace the changes together. Its easier when you do it together..